Tag Archives: rationalizations

When Thinking Distorts Feelings

Emotions tend to be looked upon unfavorably in a society that puts a premium on rationality and objectivity. Feelings are often seen as clouding one’s thinking, such that it is not uncommon to hear phrases like, “Let’s be rational about this,” and “You don’t need to be so emotional.”

Yet when functioning properly, our feelings are adaptive in directing our responses to various events in our daily lives. For example, love draws us toward our partners and others who are likely to be supportive of our endeavors. Anxiety urges the exercise of caution, stepping back from situations to assess the danger before engaging. It encourages a “look before you leap” attitude. Sadness often times stops us in our tracks, which enables us to take some time to grieve our losses before moving on, so that we do not carry that “extra baggage” with us. Anger encourages us to confront others who challenge our well-being, either by threatening harm or by interfering with our pursuits. Disgust repels us from situations we find noxious, whether physically or emotionally.  In all these examples, emotions play an adaptive role in living secure and rewarding lives.

Yet our feelings do not always function properly. At times, they may be so numbed or muted that we become complacent and avoid responding to situations that need our attention. At other times, our feelings may be “over the top,” too intense for us to utilize properly. That may be somewhat akin to having a jackhammer when a situation calls for a simple hammer. Often, it is not our emotions, but our thinking that is the culprit. Our attitudes shape our feelings toward others, events, and things, in terms of both quality and intensity. We have various sayings that illustrate this phenomenon, such as “seeing the glass as half empty or half full,” “making a mountain out of a molehill,” “seeing the silver lining of the dark cloud.” Such outlooks can have a dramatic impact on one’s feelings, which in turn can have a major impact on whether and how one responds to a given situation.

If we look at stress as an accumulation of various feelings in response to various challenges in living, we come to realize that the level of stress we experience from a given event is not so much determined by the event itself, as it is by our perception and interpretation of that situation. In other words, it is the meaning that we attach to the event that shapes the types and intensity of feelings we experience from it.

Another way of looking at emotions is the analogy of potential energy, such as from gravitational pull. The force of water flowing downhill can be either destructive or constructive. When there is too much water, such as with a downburst, a flash flood can bring pervasive destruction to all downstream from it. Building a dam, on the other hand, not only offers a safeguard against the destructive floodwaters, but also provides an opportunity to harness the energy in generating electricity. Following this analogy, we can work at developing healthier outlooks toward the challenging events in our lives, so that we can make adaptive use of our emotions in guiding our actions, rather than having our feelings, supercharged by maladaptive attitudes, lead us to actions (or inaction) that we later regret.

While these unhealthy attitudes can interfere with our response to events by numbing or shutting down our emotions, this exercise will explore various attitudes that wreak havoc by intensifying the feelings. Here, we will follow the format used in my previous blog, Rationalizations Used to Minimize and Deny Substance Problems, which explores a positive application of the cognitive behavioral approach in challenging various types of rationalizations. The following table presents various types of rationalizations in the first column, while proposing healthier alternative perspectives in the second column.

Challenging Unhealthy Attitudes

[ezcol_1half]Perspectives That Intensify Our Emotions[/ezcol_1half] [ezcol_1half_end]Perspectives That Temper Our Emotions[/ezcol_1half_end]

[ezcol_1half]The “Egocentric Imperative”: perceiving a situation from only one’s own point of view, often viewing other perspectives as wrong or inferior, if recognizing them at all[/ezcol_1half] [ezcol_1half_end] Recognizing that there can be various legitimate points of view on a subject, without viewing any of them as inherently right or wrong[/ezcol_1half_end]

[ezcol_1half]Assumed Intent: taking things personally, such that one interprets others’ actions as intended to do us harm[/ezcol_1half] [ezcol_1half_end]Working at understanding the differences and resolving the problem or conflict, with more of a focus  on the present and future[/ezcol_1half_end]

[ezcol_1half]Conditional Assumptions:   assuming that certain relationships imply specific obligations across   the board (the “fine print” in the relationship contract) (e.g., “If you   really loved me, you would . . .” Or “if you were a real friend, you wouldn’t   . . .”n[/ezcol_1half] [ezcol_1half_end]Recognizing that we all must balance being-for-others with being-for-ourselves, and that others are   free to choose when to be there for us and when to be there for themselves, and that there are usually no hard-and-fast rules to determine the correct   choice at any given time[/ezcol_1half_end]

[ezcol_1half]Assigning Blame:   focusing on who is at fault for a given situation, typically focusing on the past[/ezcol_1half] [ezcol_1half_end]Working at understanding the differences and resolving the problem or conflict, with more of a focus   on the present and future[/ezcol_1half_end]

[ezcol_1half]The “Fairness Doctrine”:  expecting fair treatment as an automatic or guaranteed right that we are entitled to, almost as if it were a law of nature[/ezcol_1half] [ezcol_1half_end]Recognizing that fairness is a social convention adopted to help us get along with one another, and that advocacy is required not only to establish one’s rights, but also to maintain them[/ezcol_1half_end]

[ezcol_1half]Dichotomizing: using distinct categories for good vs. bad, right vs. wrong, with black and white   thinking, allowing for no shades of gray[/ezcol_1half] [ezcol_1half_end]Recognizing that both sides of an issue can have both positive and negative points[/ezcol_1half_end]

[ezcol_1half]Catastrophizing:   imagining the worst-case scenario and treating it as reality[/ezcol_1half] [ezcol_1half_end]Making provisional contingency plans for the worst, but also considering and planning for other   possibilities[/ezcol_1half_end]

While this table does not present a complete list of the various perspectives which tend to intensify emotions, it covers a considerable portion of them. We can thus use this as a tool for identifying specific perspectives that intensify feelings, much as we identified various rationalizations used to justify problematic use of substances in the article, Rationalizations Used to Minimize and Deny Substance Problems. In the first column is the statement, using one’s own words or thoughts, which tend to intensify feelings. In the second column is the type of unhealthy perspective being used in this statement. Note that if your example does not appear to fit any of the above categories, you are free to come up with your own category. In the third column, you come up with your own alternative perspective that offers a healthier and more adaptive outlook to the situation. You will note that  most of the spaces on the table are empty. This is simply because I have not sought out the input of my “panel of experts” (i.e., clients with whom I work in individual, family, and group therapy, or readers of my posts). This is a project in the making, and I invite readers of the blog to submit your own examples, which I will gladly plagiarize (so as to protect your anonymity, of course). If I do use your example, you should be honored, as it is plagiarism, not imitation, that is the highest form of flattery.

[ezcol_1third]SPECIFIC ATTITUDES   THAT INTENSIFY   FEELINGS[/ezcol_1third] [ezcol_1third]TYPE OF FAULTY OUTLOOK[/ezcol_1third] [ezcol_1third_end]CHALLENGING   PERSPECTIVE[/ezcol_1third_end]

[ezcol_1third]That jerk has   some nerve pulling out in front of me without signaling. No one gets away   with disrespecting me like that.  I’ll   show him.[/ezcol_1third] [ezcol_1third]Assumed  Intent[/ezcol_1third] [ezcol_1third_end]While that is   reckless driving, it says a lot about him, but nothing about me.  I’m not going to let him bring me down to   his level of disregard by reacting to him.[/ezcol_1third_end]

[ezcol_1third]She obviously   doesn’t care about me.  She turned down   my asking her out to the movies because she wanted to get together with her friends   from work.  I guess they are more   important to her than I am.[/ezcol_1third] [ezcol_1third]Conditional   Assumption, Egocentric Imperative[/ezcol_1third] [ezcol_1third_end]If I wanted to   take her to the movie that badly, maybe I should have asked her a few days   ahead of time, rather than assuming that her life revolved around me.  I’d likely find her to be somewhat boring   if she didn’t have a life of her own.[/ezcol_1third_end]

Rationalizations Used To Minimize and Deny Substance Problems

Recognizing Rationalizations

We often use rationalizations to justify unhealthy activities we have difficulty giving up. This is certainly common with substance abuse. We may not even recognize how we are fooling ourselves with our excuses and alibis. If we can recognize our rationalizations, we might catch ourselves before doing further damage. By identifying common types of rationalizations, this blog seeks to support this understanding and to help prevent relapses.

Definitions and Examples

We start by defining “rationalization” and seven common types of rationalization. Note that “rationalization” is the all-encompassing or catchall category, and the other terms are specific types of rationalizations. We also provide examples for each of these types, to illustrate the concepts.

Practicing Identification of Types

We need to practice developing our recognition and understanding of how these rationalizations play out in our lives. For this practice, we have a multiple choice exercise. We ask our readers to identify the type of rationalization that best fits each of the twenty examples. Some of the examples may have two or three more-or-less correct answers, but we are looking for the best specific answer. In other words, you might hit the target, but we are aiming for the bull’s-eye. So, if you answer “rationalization” for all the examples, you would hit the target every single time. You’d still miss the bull’s-eye most of the time.

Of course, the practical application of this exercise does not require the identification of the specific type of rationalization. We introduce this aspect of the exercise simply to more actively engage the participant.

Translating the Rationalizations

The third column of the exercise is a challenge to the rationalization. This often involves a translation of what the rationalization really is saying, typically calling out its absurdity. I have attempted to introduce some humor into the translation or challenge as a method of helping the medicine go down. Recognizing our con-job on ourselves can be a bitter pill to swallow.

The Evolution of This Exercise

This exercise has evolved out of my years of doing substance abuse work in private practice. Several of the examples have come from actual responses given by my clients, whereas others have been adapted or modified from those responses. I have not given specific credit to those clients, as I wish to protect their anonymity. They should feel honored with the knowledge that it is plagiarism, not imitation, that is the highest form of flattery.

If therapists or counselors wish to utilize this exercise, they may do so with the proper recognition of credits.  I would ask that you identify me as the author and www.roguepsychologist.com as the source.

By the way, if you wish to have a list of the official correct answers for the exercise, you’ll have to leave a request in the comment section following the post, preferably with some constructive feedback.  This is just my way of encouraging the readers to interact more actively with this site.

Types of Rationalizations

Rationalization – an argument that is not quite relevant, used in order to explain away, excuse, or justify a behavior that really doesn’t make sense.
The following are various types of rationalizations, which often are used to justify substance abuse:

Minimization – minimizing or downplaying some aspect of your drug or alcohol use in order to underestimate the likelihood or seriousness of the problem (e.g., “What harm is just one more drink going to do, anyway?”)

Exaggeration – overestimating other aspects of a substance-related incident in order to lessen your own personal responsibility for causing the problem (e.g., “If I’d only fixed that tail light, I would never have been stopped and gotten that DUI.”)

Undergeneralization – failure to recognize the similarity between your own substance-related problems and that of others who abuse or depend on substances (e.g., “I don’t abuse alcohol. It’s not like I drink every day.”)

Overgeneralization – addressing your substance use so broadly as to overlook the particular aspects of it that cause problems (e.g., “Everybody overindulges now and then. I just got caught – that’s all.”)

Faulty Comparison – comparing your own substance problems, use pattern, or drug of choice to something worse in order to make your own problems or responsibility seen minor by comparison (e.g., The cops ought to be chasing the real criminals – robbers, murderers, rapists – rather than picking on ordinary citizens like you and me.”)

Projection of Blame – avoiding or minimizing your own personal responsibility for substance abuse by focusing either on how someone else caused you to behave that way (e.g., “Now, see what you made me do!”) or on how someone else overreacted or responded unfairly to your behavior (e.g., “Those cops hanging out at t/he strip are just waiting for you to slip up.”)

Denial – overlooking or refusing to recognize your substance related problem, which appears obvious to most people (e.g., the tobacco company executives stating to Congress that “no one’s actually proven that nicotine is addictive.”)

Examples

STATEMENTTYPE OF RATIONALIZATIONTRANSLATION OR CHALLENGE
"The cops and the courts are just out to get you and your money - that's all there is to it."A. Projection of Blame
B. Minimization
C. Overgeneralization
D. Exaggeration
"I'd rather feel like a helpless victim of an unfair system than feel guilty about how my drinking put others at risk."
"It's only a short drive. Nothing's going to happen."A. Overgeneralization
B. Undergeneralization
C. Minimization
D. Rationalization
"I am willing to take repeated risks because I do not believe that the law of averages applies to me."
"I only get drunk when my wife's busy or out of town and the kids are at their mom's. I'm not hurting anybody."A. Minimization
B. Exaggeration
C. Projection of Blame
D. Faulty Comparison
"I'm really only concerned about getting caught, not about how I am letting myself and others down by not taking my recovery seriously."
"Smoking pot doesn't mess up your driving like alcohol does."A. Faulty Comparison
B. Projection of Blame
C. Overgeneralization
D. Pot Calling the Kettle Black
"I am going to find something else worse to compare marijuana to, so that I can ignore the fact that marijuana impairs functioning, too."
"I'm not an alcoholic - I don't drink before five o'clock."A. Projection of BLame
B. Faulty Comparison
C. Undergeneralization
D. Exaggeration
"I'm only a nighttime alcoholic - that doesn't really count.
"I can control my drinking if I want to - I'm not an alcoholic."A. Faulty Comparison
B. Exaggeration
C. Denial
D.Either A or C
"Your Honor, I choose to drink irresponsibly - I only abuse alcohol, I 'm not dependent on it."
"I know when I'm intoxicated, and I'm actually a more careful driver then."A. Projection of Blame
B. Rationalizatioon
C. Exaggeration
D. Overgeneralization
"I can compensate for my impaired judgment, poor motor skills, and distorted perception when I drink - unlike those amateur drinkers or elderly drivers."
"If you'd get off my back for a change, maybe I'd cut back. Did you ever stop to think of that?"A. Faulty Comparison
B. Projection of Blame
C. Exaggeration
D. Overgeneralization
"I can't seem to find a better response to your criticism than by my drinking. By blaming you for making me drink, I don't have to feel guilty over it."
"It could happen to anybody. Why are you giving me such a hard time for a DUI? Everybody makes mistakes."A. Minimization
B. Undergeneralization
C. Faulty Comparison
D. Overgeneralization
"In saying I'm like everyone else, I refuse to recognize that I am increasing the chances of my getting into trouble over my drinking."
"I'll just use this one last time. I'll start my recovery program tomorrow."A. Rationalization
B. Exaggeration
C. Faulty Comparison
D. Projection of Blame
"By starting my recovery tomarrow, I'll never have to quit, because tomorrow is always a day away."
"What harm is one more drink going to do?"A. Faulty Comparison
B. Overgeneralization
C. Minimization
D. Projection of Blame
"If I just look at one drink at a time, I don't have to look at the overall pattern of how I get drunk."
"I'm already in trouble now. I might as well go all the way - I'm going to catch hell for it anyway."A. Overgeneralization
B. Rationalization
C. Projection of Blame
D. Faulty Comparison
"I don't believe in damage control. If I mess up, that's a good excuse to go all the way."
"Everybody has their own bad habits. I'm no different than anyone else."A. Minimization
B. Overgeneralization
C. Projection of Blame
D. Undergeneralization
"If I say that everone has their own bad habits, then I can ignore how my cocaine addiction is ruining my life."
"I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time."A. Denial
B. Exggeration
C. Undergeneralization
D. Faulty Comparison
"I'd rather consider myself a victim of circumstances than feel responsible for the mess I got myself into by driving while intoxicated."
"I don't drink any more than anyone else does, so stop giving me such a hard time."A. Overgeneralization
B. Rationalization
C. Exaggeration
D. Projection of Blame
"All my friends drink really heavily, so I use them as my comparison group, so I don't have to feel so bad about my drinking."
"Just because I've had a few run-ins with the law doesn't mean that I have a drinking problem."A. Overgeneralization
B. Denial
C. Projection of Blame
D. Exaggeration
"It's only a coincidence that every time I have been arrested I've been drunk."
"If we had only taken the interstate, we would've avoided that DUI checkpoint, and l wouldn't have gotten that DUI."A. Minimization
B. Exaggeration
C. Overgeneralization
D. Faulty Comparison
"If we had taken the interstate, I probably would've been driving faster and more recklessly, and we might all be dead now."
"If my probation officer wasn't such a jerk to test me on January 2, I wouldn't be in this mess."A. Projection of Blame
B. Minimization
C. Overgeneralization
D.Undergeneralization
"Tell me again - how was it that you got on probation?"
"Drinking takes the edge off of my social anxiety, so what's wrong with that?"A. Faulty Comparison
B. Exaggeration
C. Projection of Blamel
D. Rationalization
"I don't have the commitment and patience to work on my social anxiety in a healthy way, so I just settle for a temporary quick fix."
"I wish my family would get off my case for my drinking. I don't have a problem with it. In fact, I probably wouldn't drink that much if they just would leave me alone."A. Faulty Comparison
B. Denial
C. Projection of Blame
D. Both B and C
"Alcohol must be pretty important to me in order for me not to see what is rather obvious to others. I'll just say they can't be objective about it, so I don't have to recognize my problems or change my behvior."

 

My thanks to the various anonymous donors whose field research and expertise made this list possible. They should view my claiming this as my own work as the highest honor. As I always say, “Imitation is not the highest form of flattery – plagiarism is.” Would you believe that I came up with that saying all by myself!)