Beyond Rationality and into the Realm of Paradox

The Rogue Psychologist presents an existential model that encourages an exploration of the paradoxical polarities of life. This is not your father’s – or your grandfather’s – existentialism, though. It does not dwell on the absurdity and meaninglessness of life. Rather, it focuses on the inherent paradoxes of the human condition – mysteries in the normal course of daily life. (Now, isn’t that more appealing than the emphasis on angst, despair, and loneliness in the “Old School”?)

Reconciling Life’s Polarities

This approach involves a running dialogue between polar opposites in personal values. It recognizes that struggles over freedom vs. order, individuality vs. belonging, being vs. becoming, and security vs. adventure permeate the very fabric of our lives. These are not just abstract concepts for philosophical debate. Rather, these dualities foster conflict, both internal and interpersonal, in daily life.

Conflict: Problem or Paradox?

These conflicting values are not problems to be solved through reason; rather, they are paradoxes that defy logical solution. The Rogue Psychologist emphasizes the complementarity of such opposing values and advocates a balanced approach toward them. This is particularly evident in my article, Muddling Down a Middle Path: Wading through the Messiness of Life.

Confronting Objective Bias in our Culture

Such polarities, being paradoxical, fall beyond the pale of the prevailing emphasis on objectivity in our Western culture. This rational perspective typically views objective reality as something real, existing out there, independent of our perception. Conversely, the Western perspective views subjectivity as a quality of personal experience, often prone to idiosyncratic biases and distortions. The Rogue Psychologist challenges conventional Western thought by recognizing both objectivity and subjectivity as modes of personal experience. This perspective  thus aligns more closely  with Eastern experience, with its complementary yin and yang. Each mode of experience has its strengths and limitations, as I explore in Living Rationally with Paradox: Staying Sane in a Crazy World, or Trying to Force a Round Peg into a Square Hole?

An Alternative to Cognitive Behaviorism

The contrasting cultural perspectives are further expressed in their differing approaches to psychotherapy. Cognitive behaviorism has laid claim to the status of the therapy of choice in Western culture. This approach views irrational beliefs as the basis for depression, anxiety, and other distressing feelings. It utilizes objectivity and logic to challenge its clients’ cognitive distortions and restore their well-being. Thus, this perspective is quite consistent with Western thought by contrasting our subjective biases with an external objective reality. What its traditional form typically does not address, though, are the various paradoxical polarities that defy rational solution. This is where the Rogue Psychologist serves to reconcile ourselves to those inherently conflicting values.

Opposing or Complementary Perspectives?

How should we view these two different approaches to personal reality? Do we see them as mutually exclusive, or might we consider them as complementary approaches? Logical empiricism, the basis of our Western objective perspective, lends itself to either/or solutions. Right or wrong, good or bad, true or false. What could be simpler? But simpler does not mean better or truer. An existential system based on dualities of opposing values generally views each side of a polarity (e.g., freedom vs. order, individuality vs. belonging) as having both merits and limitations. In this way, the Rogue Psychologist offers help in viewing opposing perspectives as complementary.

A Case in Point

The above discussion may make some sense, but it is likely too abstract to hit home. Here, an example can be useful. For instance, Jack may fear not having enough for retirement and has become obsessed with preparing for it. He becomes consumed with work and saving money, preventing him from getting out and having fun and socializing. In the process, Jack has become a dull boy. An existential therapy would address his imbalances, favoring security over spontaneity, and becoming over being in the present moment. This  work needs to be done in rather concrete terms, to tap into Jack’s emotions, not just his thoughts. For example, particular worries, as well as lost opportunities, need to be explored. Such work prepares Jack for establishing greater balance between work and play, between doing and being.

Of course, in the course of exploration unrealistic expectations or beliefs are likely to emerge. For example, Jack may buy into the irrational notion that “you can have it all,” often promoted in advertising. The Rogue Psychologist might challenge this outlook with the saying, “You can’t have your cake and eat it, too.” As I’ve noted elsewhere, “You can halve your cake, eat one half now, and save the rest for later.” This translation challenges “either-or” thinking and suggests finding a balance between the polarities of being and becoming. While this example is short on details, it conveys how therapy can integrate paradoxical and rational elements. Further exploration of Rogue Psychologist will present more specific and practical applications of this perspective.